WTF TRAILERS: “N-Secure” starring Essence Atkins, Lamman Rucker and Other Over-Actors

3 Sep

What. thefuck. That’s all I could think watching this trailer. It’s pretty old (released in March), but the film is supposedly coming to theaters this fall. This film is a travesty. It looks like a horrible Tyler Perry film … so that’s like horrible SQUARED. Tempestt Bledsoe (Vanessa from “The Cosby Show”) looks like she’s overacting in EVERY clip!

This is clearly independent and I know black actresses need work, but come OOON! We can do better!

Special thanks to Brandon for sharing this with me.

TIDBITS OF LIFE: Tyler Perry Wants An Oscar AND 9/11: The Musical

2 Sep

"And the Oscar goes to ... Tyler Pe-- EXPLOSION! DEATH! 2012 ..."

1) Unless you’ve been under a rock, you know that Ntozake Shange’s masterpiece, “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf” (*ahem* in which I played Lady in Brown *toot*) is being adapted for film by Tyler Perry. The film was originally supposed to come out on MLK weekend, but now will be coming out in November … because Tyler Perry wants Oscar consideration.

I once declared that Oscars were played out because Mo’Nique won one, but NOW let me say that if Tyler Perry wins an Oscar — it should be the LAST year of the Oscars and that 2012 is real.

2) LiveScience breaks down “10 Things Every Man Should Know About A Woman’s Brain.” But it’s not just men who need to know this about women … I needed to know this about women — because apparently I am WAY more complex than I thought I was. I didn’t realize how Spidey sense-like our INTUITION is.

3) Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johanssen may be playing zombies in a Diablo Cody film called “Breathers.” That’s hot. A winning trio in my book.

4) Paula Patton got cast as the lead in “Mission Impossible: 4!” WOOT WOOT! Too bad that means ABSOLUTELY nothing since everybody hates Tom Cruise and this movie will undoubtedly fail.

5) It’s about TIME someone made a musical for 9/11, right?! If you agree with my previous statement then you’d fit right in with the idiots who have turned 9/11 into a musical. Check out the trailer for the show, here.

6) Lastly, did you miss BET’s “My Mic Sounds Nice?” Since it’s on BET, I know you were probably as skeptical as I was, but it was a great documentary about female rappers. Check it out here.

WTF: Jamaican “Daggerin” Condoms Commercial (LMAO)

2 Sep

Um … Kisha and Peta …?

And why did they have to have that tacky Ne-Yo song in the background?

[via VideoGum]

HATER POST: Rihanna Looks Like a Justin Bieber-Lesbian in “Battleship”

2 Sep

I don’t think I need to say anymore than that:

Rihanna getting her Military Bieber on

For more pictures, click here.

ON THE RADAR: Cee-Lo’s OFFICIAL “Fuck You” Music Video

1 Sep

I finally like the song! I couldn’t see what everybody was raving about with the song a makeshift video a couple of weeks ago, but I’m really feeling the OFFICIAL story-driven video this time around. Thank God for Cee-Lo videos. He’s filling that void left by the lack of MISSY music videos.

Because I’m Immature …

31 Aug

… and I had NO idea that the Booty Warrior from “The Boondocks” was REAL! This is from an old episode of “To Catch A Predator” “Lockup.”

WARNING: Men, this may make you uncomfortable.

*Ying Yang Twins voice* “BOOTY, BOOTY, BOOTY, BOOTY RAPIN’ EVERYWHERE!”

To check out more immature posts, click here.

ON THE RADAR: Jazmine Sullivan’s “Holding You Down” Video [Sneak Peek]

30 Aug

Anything Jazmine Sullivan gets attention on this blog. I love love love her. I was only feeling her latest single, “Holding You Down,” about 65% when I first heard it, but NOW I’m at a solid 100%. I really hope her sophomore album DELIVERS in terms of production this time. AND I hope her team steps her music video game UP immediately.

From the looks of this sneak peek however, it looks like they ARE steppin it up:

“Keep goin in CIRRRRCLES, CIIIRRRCCCLES … round and round …”

RANDOM THOUGHTS: I Would NEVER Commit Suicide … On Purpose

30 Aug

This is going to be a morbid post.

Maybe I watch too many movies, but I need to put this out there. If ever I come to an untimely demise, God forbid, and it LOOKS I took my own life … I didn’t. I would NEVER commit suicide … on purpose. No matter how bad it gets: 1) I’m FAR too afraid of an eternity in hell and; 2) I’d never want to hurt my family and friends.

So, if a suicide note appears … it’s fake. I didn’t write it. And if it looks like I jumped off of a building, like THIS girl … I need you to know that it happened by accident. Because I, much like this girl, WOULD probably be the one to accidentally do some embarrassing shit … like accidentally committing suicide.

There are two ways I DON’T want to die … 1) violently and 2) embarrassingly. A couple of weeks ago, I almost slipped and hit my head while singing and dancing in the shower. As I caught my balance and clenched my heart, my only thoughts were: “OMG. Drowning in shallow shower water would have been SO embarrassing. Thanks God.”

So yeah … just a big FYI.

ON THE RADAR: “Exit Stategy” Web Series to be Made into Movie

30 Aug

I’m familiar with Jameel Saleem’s work through a friend of mine. His web series, “Exit Strategy” is about a passive aggressive guy who can’t seem to get out of his relationship. It’s funny as hell and I’m happy to see that he’s turning it into a feature film. Check out the promo/teaser below:

Unfortunately, I guess he had to make the series private for legal/creative reasons, but trust me when I say the series is funny!

WTF: Chinese People Dye Their Pets to Look Like Stupid Other Animals

30 Aug

I don’t give a fuck what these Chinese people say, these dogs are miserable. What dog wants to be dyed LIME green to look like a fluffy turtle? Leave your animals be!

MY WORK: Fly Guys present ‘The “F” Word’ – Season 3, Episode 6

30 Aug

The dramatic season finale! I definitely took a page out of “Dorm Diaries” for this episode. Tension between Cassandra and enimaL builds up as DJB facilitates Cassandra’s singing voice. Meanwhile, Tone takes a personal day to get to know Breanna.

ON THE RADAR: Are Batman and Robin Shoes Marketable?

30 Aug

Um … HELL yes. I’d rock these.

[Cinematical via Dangerous Minds]

OPENING WEEKEND: “Takers” (aka the Finest Movie Ever) and “Mesrine”

27 Aug

Do I plan to see the finest movie ever made? Yes. Yes, I do. I don’t even care about the plot or how bad the movie might be. I just want to see the gorgeous faces of Idris Elba, Paul Walker, T.I., Hayden Christensen, Michael Ealy, Jay Hernandez and even Chris Brown, all in one movie. Any woman who doesn’t find at least TWO of the men this movie attractive is 100% lesbian … and probably enjoyed The Expendables. I’m just saying …

It's a fine weekend.

Second on my list to see this weekend is the limited release of Mesrine, starring my longtime French crush, Vincent Cassel as Public Enemy Number 1, Jacques Mesrine. It’s going to bad ass. If you don’t believe me, check out the trailer here. Special thanks to Alai for alerting me about this film months ago.

WTF: THIS is Why I Don’t Want Wyclef to Win the Haitian Presidency …

26 Aug

… Because this muthafucka will write a song EVERYtime there is an issue! Wyclef … your solo songs do NOT heal shit. They drive sane women crazy. On that note, check out Wyclef’s Creole song in response to the CEP’s denial of his candidacy for president.

WARNING: You will not understand shit, except how annoying his Bob Marley wails are.

Click the picture to hear the song.

[via Rap Radar]

WTF TRAILERS: “Red Nights” … If You Have an Asian Bondage Fetish?

26 Aug

What the fuck is this teaser? I mean it’s beautifully shot and everything, but what is going on in this film? It’s premiering at the Toronto International Film Festival in the “Midnight Madness” section, which is pretty much where anything goes. Fitting:

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